Relational Discipleship: Why Small Groups?

In his parting great commission to the church, Jesus said to “go make disciples”  and modeled how to do that during his time on earth.  It required proximity, community, and relational connection with his Word as the focus. Accumulating big crowds was clearly not his priority.  Discipling the 12 was. The few big crowd events he did teach at were strategically placed and then processed on a more personal level.

Throughout the New Testament and church history we see two main regular meetings that the church was built on to help believers grow: the larger service for the word and worship and the small group for relationship and discipleship. The coronavirus pandemic made the latter the center as restrictions on larger in person gatherings took hold. Believers met in smaller settings and were forced to emulate believers in the first century church who met in homes as a primary strategy.

Similar to how an aircraft needs both wings to fly, I believe the Lord wanted to make very clear that each disciple needs both the wing of the weekday small group and the wing of the weekend service to soar.

In late 1994, Pearlside Church, the congregation I founded started with small groups. Under God’s leading, we wanted to establish small groups and disciple-making as the cornerstone of our foundation. We resolved to be a church of small groups and not just a church with small groups. 

During the pandemic, our small group participation not only held, but grew. The foundation set from the start paid off. One of our pastors reminded our leaders that in the beginning we envisioned building a church that would continue to function even if meeting in larger gatherings would become impossible. By God’s grace, it appears we not only survived, but we thrived.

That said, here are nine reasons why small groups are a must. So often, the “why” gets lost in the doing of the “what” and execution of the “how.” Values tend to wane at times, and because of that, revisiting them does matter.

1. Small groups provide an umbrella of care. In our church for example, each small group leader is covered by a staff pastor. And each small group becomes a spiritual family and immediate spiritual lifeline. Middle managers called “Coaches”  - most of whom are volunteer lay persons - help with the ongoing training and span of care.

2. Small groups are where biblical truth is processed for life application. What we don't process we tend not to live out. Some experts say that we retain only 10% of what is heard over the pulpit, but 70% of what we discuss in a group. We only activate what we internalize and we  internalize best what we are able to talk about.

3. Small groups are where we learn from one another. The synergy of relational exchange enlarges biblical understanding. Discussions around scripture increase understanding, promote application and enhance transformation. Each person brings to the table a valuable perspective. That convergence in group settings tend to have a multiplier effect.

4. Small groups are where we share love, connect with others and render support. The Bible teaches that we always grow together, but we never grow alone. Life change occurs over time because of healthy relational connection. Professional counseling settings have been overwhelmed due to a plethora of people struggling with anxiety, depression and abuse induced or enhanced by pandemic stress and the residue of accompanying  aftermaths. Clinical experts have told me that many of these can actually be healed through church based small group environments that function as circles of trust.

5. Small groups are where we experience regular prayer covering for spiritual breakthrough, provision and protection. There is an intimate impartation of God’s presence and power as small groups pray together. This involves a genuine transfer of the Holy Spirit’s unique  touch. Matthew 18:19-20 puts it this way: “Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” More people praying in agreement produces more power in the moment whether it’s provision for our walk or protection against opposition.

6. Small groups are a safe warm setting for entry and re-entry into the journey of faith. People tend to open up in smaller settings where they feel more relaxed. Stressors are defused, and defenses diminished.  Over time, seekers become believers, believers become disciples, and disciples become influencers and leaders. While a church service is sometimes referred to as a formal front door, small groups are often mentioned as a comfortable side door.

7. Small groups become a cohort that can serve the larger body and broader community.  This is important because we are all wired to make a difference in the lives of others. This happens more easily when we do this with others. Groups became ready engines for hosting food banks, blood banks, school device distributions, school supply drop offs, meal provisions, and educational tutoring. In the process new relationships are formed and a discipleship experience initiated. May it all continue as needed in the days ahead.

8. Jesus modeled life and ministry through his own group of 12. 75% of gospel accounts highlight Jesus changing the world in smaller relational settings whether it was ministering to just one person or a handful. When we realize that there were 72 disciples beyond the 12, perhaps we can surmise that 11 of his original 12 except the traitor Judas affected six to seven others to bring the number to 72. Take that thought further and perhaps those disciples influenced Jesus’ 500 other followers. This would make for a ready leadership cadre to cover the huge harvest of 3,000 who got saved on the day of Pentecost. A loose speculation would imply the possibility of 570-580  small group settings covering five people each. Remember, there were no church structures yet large enough to house everyone together for what the western world is used to calling “church.”

9. The early church met in the home and temple: smaller and larger settings. While it was both/and not either/or, churches gathered first and foremost in homes. It was the immediate go to location for the early church which was born and sustained through revival. The focus here is the principle of the small rather than the method of the  home. Temple alcoves allowed for larger gatherings that peaked at around 200 to 300 for the most part. This affirms a present focus on planting smaller congregations because people are seeking greater relational connection.

From Acts 2:42-47 we see the outcome. The needy were served, miracles broke out, joy and generosity abounded, and the church grew daily. God bestowed divine favor in the face of an oppressive Roman regime. May he do the same today and build for the future as we glean lessons from the past.